The ‘marshmallow test’ business leaders keep failing.
The marshmallow test is an experimental design that measures a child's ability to delay gratification. The child is given the option of waiting a bit to get their favorite treat, or if not waiting for it, receiving a less-desired treat.
Nothing feels better to a new business leader than their first taste of success. Instantly your brain receives a rush of feel good hormones that attach to a new memory that feels oh so good! Your body can’t help but produce and energy and excitement around you! The more success you have, the better you feel.
Like a driver with a decade long streak of perfect driving, you know that you’ve got this! You know where your blind spots are located, you diligently check them and reassess your business as you go. You are ready. You are prepared. You may even be pandemic proof. You are also about to fail the ‘marshmallow test.’
The problem with success, is that it’s a terrible teacher. Remember that cool teacher you loved, because they were fun and exciting, and helped you solve problems and excel in class? That’s the success teacher. She’s great and everybody loves her. When she shows up, everybody comes running over to her to soak up all the knowledge she has to offer. Instant gratification. The curmudgeon teacher, we’ll call her failure, sits at her desk with the few outliers in the class who weren’t chasing the instant high that they knew the cool, successful teacher would bring.
Those outliers have the wisdom to know that the success teacher will always be there, waiting for them to return for more witty and wise conversation. But the failure teacher, she doesn’t show up a lot when you’re hanging out with success. She certainly doesn’t make you feel good as she points out your blind spots and challenges you to step outside the comfort zone of success and dance in other possibilities.
Your brain doesn’t like this teacher. She sucks so bad your prefrontal cortex will literally fight her, sending out hormones that drive you to fight or GTFO. She doesn’t like this feeling, and she’s about to let you know with her resistance. Your successful brain is gearing up to give failure a piece of your mind, literally.
Congrats success, you’ve just failed the marshmallow test.
Why do leaders keep failing the marshmallow test? I’ll give you a hint. It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility. It’s also a type of business leadership I like to call, transactional leadership. Transactional leadership is focused on the now: the quarterly earnings, the current abilities of employees, the current trends and market research. This leader always fails the marshmallow test. This leader has a blind spot. This leader is someone you work with. This leader is you.
Take a deep breath and keep reading. I know your brain isn’t feeling very good about that last sentence right now. Deep breath. This leader is all of us. We all have blind spots. Chances are you already know this. That perfect driving record probably includes a few occasions where someone yelled, hey look out, just in time for you to swerve or slam on the breaks. Transformational leaders know this. They know their toddler can teacher them about life. The transformational leader knows that life is a battle field, and everyone provides value in order to keep each other alive. The transformational leader sees the value in spending time delaying gratification, and hanging out with curmudgeon of a teacher known as failure.
Leaders who fail the marshmallow test all of two things in common: 1) They are transactional leaders. 2) Their blind spot is that they think they are transformational leaders.
If you think success is measured in quarterly earnings, you are a transactional leader. If you think you are a great business leader and you have the KPIs to prove it, you are a transactional leader. If you think you are a great business leader and you have great relationships with people that helps drive business to prove, you are a transactional leader. If you’ve ever talked to a leadership/life/business coach and thought they have nothing to offer you, I would like to extend an invitation to you to pass the ‘marshmallow test’, and keep reading even though you are feeling ‘triggered’ right now.
If you’re a Bulls fan, or watched The Last Dance, then you know that Phil Jackson is an incredible coach and transformational leader. You also know Michael Jordan is an incredible player, but he’s also a transactional leader. When Dennis Rodman needed to be ‘Dennis’ and party it up in Vegas during their last season, Jordan was focused on the championship. It was his last chance for a “transaction.” If you’re familiar with the story, you know Rodman extended his vacation and Jordan left the United Center to physically bring him back to the team. Jordan was right. Rodman didn’t come back in 48 hours. Phil Jackson was right too. They went on to win their sixth title of the decade.
Transformational leaders know there are 100 million ways to succeed in a business. More importantly, they also know there are 100 million more they haven’t thought of yet. In the words of the Talmud, Much I have learned much from my teachers (success and failure), more from my colleagues, most I have learned from my students.
Where as a leader have you failed the ‘marshmallow test? Where as a leader have you passed? More importantly, whoo will keep you humble and transformational along the way?
