Leadership lessons I learned living without a cell phone for a week…
As an elder millennial, I can still recall the days when email wasn’t attached to my phone, and internet was something you purchased in gigabytes or something like that. So when I accidentally dropped my phone on the street and came back 30 minutes later to find the screen and camera lens shattered after I don’t know how many cars ran it over, I was perfectly fine with going off the grid for a few days while I waited for my Apple genius bar appointment to determine whether or not my phone was toast.
It’s my natural inclination as a leader to look for the positives and potentials out of every situation. After 37 years of leading myself through life, I have far more evidence to suggest I am creative, resourceful, and know how to dance in the moment and laugh, learn, and empower myself (and others) into action. I’ve Shawshanked my way through enough shit to know that whenever life hands me lemons or whenever cars repeatedly drive over my cell phone, (this is actually the 2nd time this has happened…) OWL be ready to embrace it and create with it. And occasionally I learn the same lesson twice, for comedic purposes. God is quite the jokester…
It’s the lessons you learn in these moments of failures, fuck ups, and hindsights, that lead you to different conclusions. These moments shine a light on whoo you are as a leader. Guilt, shame, and judgement often show up in these moments. When they do, because they will, it’s your job to make sure they don’t pick up your pen and start writing your story. Judgement, Guilt, and Shame are terrible leaders, and even worse authors.
When I showed up to my Apple appointment on 14th street at 5:30pm on a chilly Sunday, I swear God (the universe) laughed as I stood there in line waiting to show them my reservation number. If you haven’t figured it out yet, spoiler alert, they didn’t have an appointment under my name, email, or confirmation number. After the third attempt to look up my appointment, I briefly considered my options of angry customer or defeated would-be customer. I chose the latter. My immediate assumption was user error, after all it’s Apple…and it turned out I was right. Turns out the reservation was for Saturday, not Sunday….
As I walked home from the Grove Street Path station, defeated and afraid of getting off at the closer stop because I might get lost, (google maps really runs the show over here), I thought about OWL the things I should have said to that woman who said I didn’t have an appointment. I should have pushed back, maybe demanded to see her boss, or complained that the man in front of me had the same problem and they let him in! But instead I sighed and shouted Jesus Christ! (always good to let the Big guy know you could use his help), and walked away, annoyed and disgusted at the time I wasted shlepping into the city and regretting my decision to avoid confrontation. Hey, this is New York City! It’s kind of our thing to be rude, pushy, and demanding. If you’ve ever commuted on the subway or navigated your way through port authority, you would understand. But I digress.
These were the first half of my thoughts that I had as I walked home. The last half of the walk was much more productive. As I got closer to home and could finally see the street I lived (only 1/2 mile to go!), I shifted my thoughts to everything I had learned that day. Which brings me to my list of leadership lessons that only could have occurred if I didn’t have a working cell phone.
Leadership Lesson 1 - Find out what’s useful here and use it to your advantage
Although not incredibly useful for running my business on social media or connecting with friends during a pandemic, the clear advantage here was the opportunity to be more present and to take advantage of the time I’m no longer spending on my phone. As I shifted my focus, the universe shifted with me, presenting new opportunities for work and for connecting with Dan.
Leadership Lesson 2 - Much of what demands our attention doesn’t actually require it
Emails, voicemails, text messages, social media notifications, actual phone calls—it all demands our attention, except maybe the phone calls, which we seem very okay with pushing to voicemail. Ironically, of all things on the list, the phone call is the only thing that arguably does require our attention. I mean, if someone is ringing you in 2020, it’s probably worth figuring out what in the heck for! As I shifted my attention to what did actually require it, the universe shifted with me, presenting me with opportunities to pay attention to areas of my life that were actually in high demand. Letting go of the perception that my phone demands my attention, created room for what actually matters, in work and life.
Leadership Lesson 3 - The present is a present
I can’t recall the last time I spent 7 consecutive days unwinding in front of the TV and only the TV. Usually screen time is doubled up with my iphone for “efficiency” purposes, which explains why I attempted to reach for my phone more than once while watching Schitt’s Creek. If you’re reading this thinking, umm isn’t the purpose of this lesson to limit screen time, you’ve missed the lesson entirely. This is about being present, with whatever “present” you are choosing to give yourself in this moment in time. The present, in this case was watching TV, and the gift of being present was laughing my ass off at all the antics and one-liners Schitt’s Creek has to offer. According to Netflix I’ve already watched this show it its entirety, but after actually being present I can tell you I barely remember these episodes and I’ve never laughed so much in such a short time.
I’m sure there are many more lessons I could share with you, but in the interested of staying present, OWL leave you with these three lessons and let you write you own.
