It's Mother's Day and I don't have a Mom to celebrate with
So, it's Mother's Day and I don't have a mother to celebrate with...on the plus side, If I know my mom, she's out there in the universe trying to find me a potential suitor. Mom always wanted to see me happy with someone. She saw me happy with myself, with my friends and family, but she really wanted me to "meet someone." She had given up on grandkids when I turned 35. Thanks mom! Really took the pressure off. So it's May. And it's my first Mother's Day without a mother, and next week is the anniversary of my mother's heart attack. Two weeks later I'm flying home to spend time grieving with dad and spreading her ashes. Currently, mom is living in a scattering urn and a box from the crematorium because she didn't fit in the scattering urn. Don't worry guys, mom had a sense of humor! She married my dad, so we know she can take a joke..and of course she produced this gem of a child who finds it totally normal that part of her mother is currently sitting on the dining room table and the rest of her is on top of the coat rack. Totally fine guys. Remember when I got a pedicure 2 hours after my mom died? We all process things differently. Really makes people feel a particular way though when describing your dead mother so nonchalantly.
So, it's Mother's Day and I don't have a mom to send a card to...which is really a silver-lining type of moment for me because I am freaking terrible at sending cards. Like, the absolute worst. I have a box full of various occasion cards because I purchase them when I think of the event we are celebrating and then my disorganized self can never seem to get them in the mail, except when I finally do and for that, you guys are welcome because I send great cards (humble brag). Don't take my word for it. The eulogy I read at my mom's funeral is a letter from a Mother's Day card I gave her when I was 18.
The memories of the day my mom called to say she had a heart attack are as vivid as they are fuzzy. I miss her. I wish we would have had more time together. It's Mother's Day and I don't have a mother to talk to about the idiot boys I'm dating or show off my new apartment to on Facetime or share the news about the girl's trip to London-Paris-Berlin. My mom would have LOVED to talk to me about her trip to Europe that she took 45 years ago when she graduated from high school. I miss her.
It's Mother's Day and I don't have a mother to tell how much I love her, and to squeeze her extra tight and send her flowers. I miss her. But I do have amazing friends that showed up on at my doorstep on Mother's Day with flowers, hugs and love. We split a bottle of wine and toasted to my mom. I'm lucky to have such amazing friends. It's Mother's Day and I have amazing friends to celebrate with.
