Call Me Old Fashion

I get that it is 2019 and people are having sex and eating ass on a first date these days, but this old- fashioned midwest maiden doesn't even like to kiss on a first date. Maybe this is why I'm single...but seriously I just don't like exchanging DNA on a first date. It's ironic considering in college I was known for my random bar make-out sessions, but even then my old fashioned self didn't have "relations," just an exchange of saliva and maybe a pat on the ass. Good game kid. But as an adult, I just am not a fan of the first date make-out session. Maybe it's because I'm already awkward AF and adding a kiss into the mix isn't going to make that any better. Or maybe I just haven't met anyone I wanted to kiss on a first date. I don't know guys, but I am not a fan. To clarify, this doesn't mean I've never been attracted to someone on a first date. If you are cute and the conversation is great, then I probably do want to kiss you. On our second date of course.

Eades does this mean you have never kissed on a first date?
Don't be silly, there are always exceptions. But it doesn't mean I have to like it... Yes, there are times when I'm into the guy and am perfectly okay with a kiss on the first date, but I don't want to suck his face off. Make it nice and then move on buddy. If you are getting a kiss on the first date, you are probably getting a second date. Unless you are one of the several men that without warning grab my face and shove your tongue down my throat. Ugh, why guys?! Why?! And stop doing that already! This has happened on multiple occasions, without warning and completely unprovoked. Like a 12 year old learning to kiss for the first time, this is a terrible move guys and a clear indicator whatever you bring to the table in the bedroom is probably equally terrible. This is not just a theory guys, the Brit proved this one true. He was tall and cute, so he got a second date. And I was on the rebound and looking to get laid. Stars aligned. Much like his shitty first date kiss at the bar aligned with his shitty skills in the bedroom. At least he was self-aware on the awkward kiss. "So sorry, I couldn't contain myself you were just so pretty" (insert eye roll here). Sadly for him, he was completely unaware of how shitty all his oral skills were (or lack there of)...but at least his big dick made up for it. Side note, why are the guys with nice cocks terrible at everything else? I guess it's true what they say, you can't have it all.

Oh man, that sounds terrible. But they can't all be that bad...
That's fair. And they are not all that bad. Perhaps the bad ones just ruined it for the good ones, and hence why I hate kissing on a first date. Something to consider. But yes, I have had a few first date kisses that weren't horrendous. They weren't great though either. Only exception would be the "I'm going to bang him tonight" guy. I know, I know, I already mentioned how old fashion I am, but it is also 2019 and I'm not a prude guys! Besides, the "bang him tonight" guy isn't getting a second date. There is a solid chance we aren't even on a first date to begin with...which is arguably also why I am against the first date kiss. The last time I kissed a guy I just met I ended up moving halfway across the country...yup totally makes sense. I can't risk that again! And yes, there are actual dates that end in a first kiss (begrudgingly) that aren't terrible. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. 

Okay, so Eades dating rules include no kissing on a first date. Got it. 
Well....not exactly. First of all, I hate rules and rarely follow any of them 100% of the time. Also, I'm a woman and therefore entitled to change my mind at any moment in time if it suits my narrative. So no, it isn't a rule per-say so much as my general feelings towards kissing on a first date. Call me old fashion, but I like to get to know someone a little more before we swap spit. Kissing is incredibly intimate and I would like a two-date minimum first, please and thank you. And if that kiss leaves me wanting more...well then you are guaranteed a third date. The highly coveted, rarely experienced third date is where I will decide if I'm fucking you on the 4th date. Don't worry guys, I promise I'm worth it. I've got great reviews and happy to provide few references upon request ;)