Why are keys so hard?

The struggle is real. Keys…can't live with them, heard people take your stuff if you choose to live without them. That's right folks, the struggle is so real I have dedicated an entire post to sharing my struggle with keys and all things key related, that’s how real it is. This is by no means a comprehensive list. This is merely a compilation of some of the highlights of keys long lost. As the kids say, it is better to have had keys that you have lost, then to have never had a key to lose....

That time I lost my keys at the airport
This resulted in having to replace my car key, my work keys (including the P.O. Box key), and I lost my car fob. For some unknown reason, my house key/fob were not attached to those keys. I also probably lost a really cool key chain. Ce la vie! 

That time I dropped my keys down the elevator shaft.
Picture it...I am rushing to work and the elevator opens. I step inside and the caribeaner holding my car keys to my house keys opens and my house keys drop to the ground. I watch in slow motion as the keys hit the space between the elevator, the heavy key chain slowly pulling them down as I lunge forward to grab them, only too little too late as they slide their way down the elevator shaft. I had 2 options, wait for the end of the month when the mandatory elevator maintenance man could retrieve them for me or pay $250 to get them the next day. I think we both know the logical answer here…save $250 and use my boyfriend’s keys for two weeks, of course! 

That time I locked myself out of my apartment (when my date had to break into my house)
If you haven't read this blog post yet, check it out. Yadda yadda yadda, date climbed though my window, problem solved.

That time I locked myself out of my apartment (when my neighbor had to break into my house)
On a quest for coffee and a macaroon, I forgot to grab my keys on the way out the door. Whoopsie! Classic Eades antics. No worries, I think to myself, my friend Jeff down the street has my spare keys! Naturally, I picked up my coffee and sweet treat first and then made my way down the street to pick up my keys, stopping by the taco truck to pick up dinner, because #yolo and #ihearttacos. Keys in hand, I approach the door and think to myself, wouldn't that be some classic Eades antics if these keys don't even work. (Enters narrator, it was, in fact, classic Eades antics and the keys did not, in fact actually work). So I buzz the neighbor, thinking perhaps my other key will work. Naturally, it did not. My neighbor proceeds to pull out some extra keys and says, try this one. Slightly perplexed, but mostly hopeful, I try his keys. They do not work. Sigh....feeling deflated and ready to be out a couple hundred bucks for a locksmith, my neighbor produces yet another set of keys and Eureka! They work! Still slightly concerned that he has a key to my place, but fuck it. I'm poor anyway and what do I have to steal besides my wedding ring that's currently sitting in the back of my closet in an Ann Taylor bag. Good luck finding that would be burglars...

That time I locked myself out of my apartment (when my roommate had to let me in)
This story is really lackluster, I left in the morning and couldn't return until 10pm at night. 

That time my key wouldn't work in my lock (when the dog walker had to let me in)
I had just moved across the country and was subletting an apartment for 4 months. Naturally, on my very first day out of the apartment as I returned, groceries in hand, head held high just ready to take on this next adventure in my life, my key failed to work. As I sat in front of the door, tears slowly forming, running down my face as quickly as my ice cream was melting, the dog walker showed up, high as a kite, but with keys that worked. God is a jokester sometimes.

That time my business partner did a hostile take over, changed the locks and I was locked out of my gym and had to rent a hotel room for the night.
This story is historical, but it's not quite hysterical yet...yadda yadda yadda, I was able to sell the business at a fraction of its value the next day and I never looked back.

That other time I accidentally dropped my keys down the elevator shaft... 
Riddle me this, why is there that giant space between the elevator and the floor?! Need I say more guys? FML