How Many Times Can A Person Hit Rock Bottom? -Asking For A Friend.
Okay fine. I'm the friend. Judge away, as one will do. I'm probably just being overly dramatic and having a hard day. Don't worry, I'm sure only 1 in 4 people that have these thoughts actually commit suicide, so feel free to tell me everything is fine and stop being a drama queen. I'm probably most definitely not going to kill myself, despite how great eternal rest sounds right now (cue dramatic melody here). But seriously, I'm a bit tired of finally getting the courage (and vulnerability Brene Brown speaks so highly of) to finally reach out and tell a friend I'm having a hard time, to hear "but friend you are so strong," or "look how far you have come, you are great," or worse "hahaha oh Tuna, stop being so dramatic." Thank you Karen. I know myself quite well thanks. That's why I'm reaching out today to say, "Please help. I can't do it alone today." It's good to know should I not kill myself, I can also moonlight as a melodramatic teenager.
Sigh....Adulting is hard. Doing it alone is harder. Add a grieving father and a dead mom in the mix and well, things get even more difficult. Stir that up with a splash of work challenges here, a dash of passive-aggressive co-workers there, and friends who have their shit together so they no longer need me (enter cute boy they are now married/living with) here and dude what else do you need, I'm fucking struggle over here. Check on your single friends people. They are not okay. We go on shitty dates. We eat and drink alone all the time. We're tired of investing our time and energy supporting our friends only to have them disappear and say shitty things like "you're amazing friend," before going back to whatever they're doing that's clearly more important. And I throw myself into work, because at least it won't leave me when it meets a guy.
Okay, so I clearly have a few things to be sad about. But I'm okay. No one needs to call the local mental hospital. I'm not killing myself. Despite how great that eternal rest sounds...dad couldn't bear it. My friends would get over. Just so we're clear, I'm doing life for dad people! But seriously, I'm okay. Today was tough. Tomorrow will be better. I'm grateful for friends who check on me. Sigh...they don't tell you grief hurts more a year later. I'm divorced. My bad for not seeing this one coming.
Being the funny one in the friend group comes at a price. All the great comedians die before their time guys. It's not a coincidence. Or the government. And it's definitely not God's will you weirdos. My life is your laugh. And sometimes, my life is your chance to be a friend and give me a hug. Ehh, I'm not much of a hugger. A phone call or an funny bitmoji works too.
Adulting is hard. Friends make it fun. Dating is...my only source of entertainment at the moment. Dammit...I might need new friends. Haha, just kidding guys! I only need one new friend. And I'm currently on the market for a new East Coast bestie. Perks include meeting the man of your dreams within the year. Auditions coming to a city near you soon....
