It’s 2am I must be tired…

That’s right, it’s 2:00am and I’m not sleeping, so clearly I must be tired. To the dude who sang about being lonely at 3am, perhaps it’s because you were the asshole that blasted techno music, got drunk and fought with your girl at 2am. No, this isn’t a story about me and Dan (he’s adorably sleeping right now), this is about my asshole neighbor and the universe calling me forward to stop avoiding conflict and step into my power of self-authority and self-confidence. If that’s sounds confusing, bare with me for a minute, it’s literally 2am after all.

I have paper-thin walls and a neighbor who’s lived here for 7+ years. No excuses, this asshole is being a selfish prick. Not to mention this asshat took the grill grates out of the propane AND charcoal grill, taking away any future possibilities of anyone enjoying a summer BBQ. Dick. Propane tanks that I have repeatedly filled, and charcoal that I always purchase. But I digress. Back to the 2am ‘domestic’ and my tendency to avoid any and all conflict, because I’m a good girl who doesn’t rock the boat.

So at 1am when this bullshit started, the universe was sending me signals it’s time to stand up and use my voice Ariel. Between the yelling back and forth with his girl (seriously, what is this foreplay?), the banging of metal as he built a fire literally underneath my first floor bedroom window, (yes, literally as in I could have just peeled back the curtain, looked him dead in the eye and said, ‘GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.’ But I’m a good girl, who avoids conflict so that others may feel more comfortable, so I careful pulled back the current ever so slightly, more than once, to take a peek at what this dude was up to. Sigh….this asshole is beyond lucky Dan is adorably asleep right now after driving 400+ miles in less than 24 hours. He loves standing up for what’s right and charging head-first into conflict. I fucking love him…but I digress, again. It’s 2am I must be tired.

Imagine getting the courage to do something that terrifies you, yet is also exactly what you deserve, but you’re still terrified, so you question whether it was the right decision. Maybe it’s a career change, a break up, a move, whatever it may be, that’s how I felt in this moment. Typing this makes it sound a little silly now, but the conflict-avoidant, good-girl persona was imprinted on me as a child and is currently hanging on for dear life. At least it was until I tapped into that good ‘ole emotion called ‘anger,’ and got the courage to bang on the door.

As I walked through the bedroom hallway, techno music blasting away, I could feel the walls vibrating around me. By the time I made the short walk to the living room, I couldn’t tell what was shaking more, the walls, or my resolve to bang on this door and look my asshole neighbor’s girlfriend in the eye and say in my best Midwest polite voice, “Hi, it’s 2am. Can you turn the music off?”

Stop judging me already, this took everything I had to even decide to face this conflict head on! I promise you I channeled all the power of my East Coast friends when I banged on the door…okay, I channeled some of your power, but it was a solid banging on the door. And when the girlfriend answered, looked at me and said, “Oh, shit! Umm..sorry, I’ll tell him to turn it down,” teacher Katie that had retired long ago took one look into this frighten girl’s face and remembered who the fuck she is: I am Momma Eades, Ms. Eades-ey fo sheezy, take your seat and be quiet because I said so, and also thank you in advance, because I’m polite.

Hi Mike! Thanks for coming to class today. Go straight to your seat, don’t talk to anyone, and open your book to Chapter 1—Thank you. (Insert eye lock with the kid who showed up late, with a slight eyebrow raise and a look that says, “If you challenge me right now, this isn’t going to end well for you.”

Teacher Katie doesn’t back down from anyone. She’s Momma Eades, fearless and ready to go toe-to-toe with anyone who dares cross her path. So help me God, if this asshole wasn’t a local cop I would have shown him the full wrath of this tired teacher who just wants to go the fuck to sleep. The girlfriend may have been apologetic, but this piece of shit got in his unmarked cop car, threw on the sirens and lights, and drove around the block a few times just to be a dick. That’s right, he’s drunk as a skunk and driving around the city at the moment, because he’s an entitled asshole, and I avoid conflict that may or may not result in me getting physically hurt.

Sigh…well at least I did a new thing and feel empowered by it. To the boys in the Blue that don’t understand why people are pissed at you. Well, in the words of Jeff Foxworthy, here’s your sign. You know, in case #saytheirnames because there are too many to list here wasn’t enough for you.

Today I’m grateful for the opportunity to stand up for what is right and stop avoiding assholes that disturb the peace, and my own inner peace. Teacher Katie is a badass, Midwest nice with a no-nonsense approach to dealing with conflict. Knock, knock mother-trucker, I’m baaaaccckkkkk and class is in session.