The summer of scandals, scams, & sarcasm
Every summer has a different ‘feeling’ and a ‘theme’ that is pervasive throughout the months of June, July and August. What started out as the Summer of Katie in 2015, quickly turned into an episode of Seinfeld, where I was left crying, mentally breaking down, and screaming through tears, “This was suppose to be the summer of me!”
Divorced and living with my parents, although that summer didn’t exactly turn out as I had planned, God (the universe) provided me with exactly what I needed, giving me hope that the lessons learned that summer served a higher purpose in my life. So when this summer started taking on the theme of scams, scandals, and sarcasm (to cope!), it gave me pause to consider just what is the universe trying to tell me…
God knows I always assume the best from people. Perhaps it was time to ‘shake up’ that naivety and learn a few lessons on due diligence and intuition. As the great Terri Eades always said, “Trust, but verify.” For the record, that was the only quote my mom ever borrowed from a republican president. But I digress.
As the world turns (insert my soap opera voice here), so do the scams and scandals, so it shouldn’t really surprise me that my own little world would also be rife with scams on every corner, and scandals in the family, but surprised I was nevertheless. To be clear, this has been a wonderful summer of Phishing tours and soaking up all the New Jersey has to offer before we hit the road to our new home in Tennessee. And it has been a not so wonderful summer of fishing out scams and attempting to squash the scandals.
In the words of Dickinson, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” And in the words of yours truly, “It was the time of Phish and Phishing.”
5 Lessons the Summer of Scams, Scandals, & Sarcasm Taught Us
1. Feeling desperate, scared, and worried that things won’t work out leaves you vulnerable to Scams.
In 6 short weeks I’m moving my entire life (and dog) halfway across the country to begin the next chapter. This isn’t my first cross-country move, but I have to say, my how the times have changed! No longer is Craigslist an option for scoring a gem of a rental home from a private owner, and Zillow, well that place is full of fake listings and bots that send text messages asking human questions like, “What zip code would you like to live in?” and “Sorry that listing is no longer available, would you like to check out our other homes (insert link leading to a scam site here). Sigh…I already know how to look out for real estate scams, but this time it ‘hits different’ as the kids say (are they still saying that?)
Inventory for rentals is at an all-time low in the area, and even lower for people with a German Shepard. Somehow they didn’t get the memo about how great these dogs are and have decided to ban them from their properties. And it doesn’t help that Trulia keeps sending me emails letting me know 99% of houses are currently off market and rented. While I’ve OWL-ways wanted to be a 1 percent-er, this is not exactly what I had in mind. Note to self, be more specific when making requests to the universe.
Also, while writing this blog, we were contacted by two potential landlords for the two properties Dan liked the most, after feeling fully convinced these two houses were also part of a scam...lesson learned universe! Desperation and worry have no place in leaps of faith. God, we see You and hear You. Thank you for the reminder to trust and be still. And a quick shout out to Amex for easy-to-file fraud on application fees for fake properties.
Lessons learned many times over, patience and prayer and powerful weapons against a scarcity mindset.
2. Be careful whoo you marry, and write a living-will to avoid scandals and scandalous people.
As my dad said after I got divorced, “Ya gotta be careful whoo you let in the clan.” And as he said after hearing about the scandal that’s currently rocking my man’s family, “This is why ya gotta be careful whoo you let in the clan.” I laughed both times he gave this sage advice, and in addition to be careful, I’ve added a bit of my own. So before the end of this month, create a living-will and plan your good-bye party, because even if you think you’re marrying the right person, once you’re dead, whoo they really are will shine right on through like the sun on the sea on a hot Florida day, and not everyone can stand the sunshine. Dan is practically allergic to it, seriously, he’s Irish and can’t walk three blocks to the beach without getting a sunburn, which is why we’re moving to Tennessee, not Florida. But I digress.
Lessons learned this summer is that death never comes at a time when we are ready. Don’t leave your family hanging, especially if you know your spouse is a scandalous, scamming, stupid scalawag (no sarcasm here).
3. Sarcasm is great for writing jokes after being scammed and dragged through a scandal
If it’s historical, it can be hysterical! If it’s in the past, there is no need to hang out with that experience any longer, unless you want to work on your comedy routine. The next day, after uncovering one scam after another, I was talking with my business partner about the situation. Sarcastically I said, “Well I suppose when you take a leap of faith your job is to trust that God will provide and all that…and I done that before when I moved here, sooo I hear ya God! Message received! I trust you!”
The sarcasm was so thick I could practically taste the flavor of bitterness oozing out of my mouth. I couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous I sounded! The sarcastic jokes served as a bridge between my discernment and current emotional state. By the time I hung up the phone, I did trust this leap of faith! Jesus take the wheel and universe do your thing, I’m ready! And I’ve now written an entire comedy routine on this experience and can’t wait to see how it ends!
Lessons learned, sarcasm is a signal to stop and notice what you’re really feeling, and laugh!
4. Scams and scandals are tools for developing humility
It is quite humbling to step into the unknown and trust that God (and the universe) will provide OWL that we need. Although this feels like a lesson I’ve learned before, this time I really had the opportunity to lean and be humble before God. Every night we pray over our meal, thanking God for all that He’s provided, expressing gratitude for all the doors He already opened and all the doors He is currently opening for us as we speak. We go to bed every night without worry, sleeping peacefully knowing where He wants to plant us is where we are meant to grow.
Scandals remind us to plan and prepare to leave this earth, so that we may fill our higher purpose in heaven. And those pesky scams, well nothing humbles you quite like feeling scammed. My brain instantly wanted to beat me up and give up trying, because geez, how could I be so stupid?! What a great reminder to humble myself before God and ask for His guidance and all-knowing wisdom.
Scams are a reminder that we aren’t in control of everything, and what we can control is a simple google search on property management companies and realtors before clicking that fancy “1 click to apply” button. Scams as it turns out also develop your discernment muscles and create opportunities to support your partner more powerfully and grow closer together in the process.
Lessons learned, the gift of humility opens up new opportunities for growth.
5. It’s not about you (or in this case, me!)
Scams and scandals are not a reflection of whoo I am or my intelligence. And according to articles on the internet, sarcasm is a sign of intelligence, so boom, confirmation bias that I am so smart, I am so smart…(insert Bart Simpson S.M.R.T. here). The ability to observe yourself without judgement or discernment, just observation, is POWERFUL!
As I sat in my office feeling myself spiral with thoughts, I reminded myself to be still and notice. I covered my face with my hands (it felt overwhelming and I needed to feel my body and close my eyes) and just allowed every thought to flow through me, knowing that these thoughts were not about me, they don’t belong to me, these thoughts are not good or bad, they just are. Like the path of least resistance, this is where the water wanted to flow at this moment, so why fight it?!
Like waves in the ocean, one thought after another crashed all around me. I continued to observe, reminding myself these thoughts are not me. Slowly I felt the waves get smaller, what felt like forever but in reality was just 5 minutes, the waves turned into a gentle breeze that allowed me to remove my hands from my face and take a relaxed breathe. It almost felt like I stood up and walked my way out of the ocean and made my way to a spring of gratitude with water of wisdom flowing all around me.
Lessons learned, “The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe ourselves without judging.” -Jiddu Krishnamurti
Where do you observe yourself judging whoo you are or what you’re capable of? What impact does this have on your life? More importantly, whoo else is observing you along the way? Is it me? Click the link and find out!
